So theres about a few minutes left of jan ,

January has been a hectic month... ill make this quick:
I lost a few friends, but made some new ones at the same time. This have changed over a past month , and i feel like im changing at the same time. I feel like im not the same anymore , but thats how life is.... its been awhile since i ever liked someone eles rather than you but .. i think i do now , i hope this month turns out great :)


HAPPYBIRTHDAY:KIMMY&MARTIN<3

A person should be with whoever makes them happy,even if it means that they're always running back.
But how many times can you run back and forth? Its like that whole statement" fighting for love" We know that love is worth fighting for no matter how much it hurts. But if that person hurt you once why hurt yourself more and more,But how long can a person fight for?Love is sometimes the best thing we can ever have but sometimes we tend to take it for grante. I've been through ups and downs,and ive learned that i need to stop trying to look. Love cant be searched for because love can only find you Sometime we try to hard, and wait to long to make something work, even though we know that the entire time it was never going to happen. We're meant to lose the people we love , or eles how are we suppose to know how important they mean to us? I believe that we may sometimes love that one person for a long time one way or another We know that we make dumb mistakes and decisions, but who doesnt?Sometimes im just trying to fill that empty space in my heart,but you know what? i dont even care. I can and will make as many mistakes and decisions as possible,but at least i'm done trying to make hime love me back. Im just living my life. One day the time will come where things will fall into place, and that space will be filled but not from you . i promise that.

i dont know what to do
fighting with something that i can beat
of something that use to be
no matter how hard i try , i guess im just hurting myself
telling me about you two
telling me the way she treats you
this is impossible
said aint no way to make this last
cause im stuck in the past
i feel so dumb i dont wanna feel anything
i dont wanna know that i know to be true
Just lie to me, cause thats what you did to me all along
dont make me believe thats theres nobody for me just you
you saw me i saw you , thinking back .. damn that use to be me
tell me this is all a dream
i dont know what has gotten into me
makes me emotional
what is that you do, to bring back thoese tears
you make me feel , i cant describe that feelin
i know you were think wtf, why me im just one guy
and its true you said it yourself
your happy im happy , no worries
ill do fine without you , just leave me alone for awhile
i just need time alone , please just dont talk to me

FMLxAMILLION...
i feel humiliated , embarrassed ,and depressed
im so dead inside that i cant even think!
you me her him her WTF, is going on is it a reunion?!
to show how much ive hurten people! ... i never wanna go there again
but FML again , because i have to!!!:( :@

this is what happens when a bitch comes in the way.

i dont hate you its just that things arent the way they use to be.
im learing to move on slowly
cause your not standing there anymore
i gave you my all , cause thats all you ever asked for
i gave you my promises cause thats all ill ever do
let me know , what you meant to me now.
thinking back to you

"the lips i used to kiss
the eyes i used to miss
a heart i used to belong to
a love id never doubt
guess it aint so special now"

cause its not the same anymore.
id never thought to myself that i never wanted to talk to you again
the very minute you told me off, i didnt know myself anymore
but i learn from what you done to me that i aint the gilr you use to hold.
i just wanna know , why would you walk away from me
after all the things, that almost led to eternity
So , i dont wanna waste your time thinking and caring about me
its to late to say your sorry , because ill never feel the way i felt before
ill tell my self stop but its so hard when your all that i know
maybe im not as okay as i thought i was
cause everytime i try to move one ,i look into his eyes but it reminds mme
of the eyes i use to see
i tell my friends i wont talk to him, i dont miss him
Dont get me wrong you know im alright with what i got

"Cause all I do is spend my time tryin to find what you gave to me
But he can't compete
Cause he ain't you
That's when I realize
Boy I can't even lie
Cause now I understand
I'm never gonna have what I had"

i have to stop cause this is giving me to much pain,i need to say goodbye
to what i had , and move on in my life

when they say its the truth ,the honest truth do you really think it is the truth?
when they say their sorry , do you actually think their sorry?
when they say they love you and be with you forever, would you believe them?

Their are so many things that can make us like/love a person. Their lies and their truths, all end up into a situation.When people say that they are always going to be there for you would you actually believe them?..from my thought no. People say it to me , but guess what they never keep their promises. People had walked in and out of my life, and end up coming back because they say i cant live a day without talking to you , or thinking about you. But i think thats all bullshit. When you actually make a promise and you say its from the bottom of your heart ,why dont you actually mean it. If you dont why even bother saying it. Well maybe you just want that person to fall more deeper and inlove with you. But once they do , they are always the one going to end up getting hurt.Many times, people have been through situation, where the people they thought the love..end up being their enemies or just end up being just that "friend"when you just say hi and nothing more. I never realize why sometimes we go through these things. Well , i guess life isnt always as perfect as we thought it would be. Life is filled of many things we have to go through.. like first kisses, first boyfriends. But the one thing that we face in life is problems that we cant always solve on our own. Sometimes a problem can even take a life time. We just have to remember that make sure you think before you speak, think before you do something, and be open minded to what people say to you . Cause once you've been through it , you dont wanna be in it again.Sometimes what you want isn't always what you get, but in the end what you get is so much better than what you wanted.



"Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never met."

and i promise....
someday you will regret losing me , and you will think back and say

seriously .. i dont care about you anymore , i gave up .. actually i gave up on you long time ago .. you can stop saying shit about me , you can stop fricken making rumours about yourself. Cause everytime you do you loose someone .. how many people have you lost already a lot im guessing ?
I know your scared of me , i know in the halls you try to get away cause you think im gunna punch you in the face. Well where did you hear that from ? you made that up to ?... well guess what i would if i wanted to but im nice enough not to , and if you wanna slap me go ahead .. i'd like to see that happen , you'd be to chicken to anwyays. I bet when you read this youll go running to him .. well go ahead cause im done, with you. I was never ever involved with you , you put me into this shit , now im putting myself out. its your busisness not mine, you want me to be in it fine , but your making your own life worse. you can just go have your happy life with him ...

AND PS ; just to make your life more easier and so you dont cry ... I dont like him

HA , crying because you heard i had feelings for him .. whatever .

After 8 months i finally get to see you .... its been a long time , and you still have'nt changed
your still that little jerk who i knew before. I know , you gave me a gift and everything , but you know what .... you come and just give me that gift and just leave. It all adds up that you don't even wanna be around me. Its true you said all these things like you dont want to be near an LG and you dont wanna be at least 10mm from me. I know i hurt you long ago , and i regret what had happen i think about it every fuckin' night , thinking about how much I hurt you. Not one night i would stop thinking because you know what that night when i hurt you , i also hurt myself. Im sorry for everything i have ever done to make you like this , im sorry for the way i even treated you. But you have to understand that i still care about you, and i dont think you even care or appreciate it. When i saw you yesterday , i was suprised and happy. i was happy because from all these months i get to see you again. But guess what i only saw you for about less than a min , not even a min. Are you happy now ? cause guess what you win , im hurting too. The way i treated you before is the way you treat me now , but worse. i guess karma is a bitch , cause right now i hate myself for everything i have done to you..... and im not afraid to say it " i miss you"

(ooh) for the way you changed my plans
for being the perfect distraction
for the way you took the idea that i have
of everything that i wanted to have
and made me see there was something missing (oh yeah)
for the ending of my first begin
(ooh yeah yeah)(ooh yeah yeah)
and for the rare and unexpected friend
(ooh yeah yeah)(ooh yeah yeah)
for the way you're something that i never choose
but at the same time something i don't wanna lose
and never wanna be without ever again (oh oh)

you're the best thing i never knew i needed
so when you were here i had no idea
you're the best thing i never knew i needed
so now it's so clear i need you here always

my accidental happily (ever after) (oh oh oh)
the way you slime and how you comfort me (with your laughter)
i must admit you were not a part of my book
but now if you open it up and take a look
you're the beginning and the end of every chapter (oh oh)

you're the best thing i never knew i needed (oh)
so when you were here i had no idea
you're the best thing i never knew i needed (that i needed)
so now it's so clear i need you here always

who'd knew that i'd be here (who'd knew that i'd be here oh oh)
so unexpectedly (so unexpectedly oh oh)
undeniablely happy (hey)
said with you right here, right here next to me (oh)

girl you're the..
you're the best thing i never knew i needed (said i needed oh oh)
so when you were here i had no idea
you're the best thing i never knew i needed (needed oh)
so now it's so clear i need you here always
baby baby
now it's so clear i need you here always

..1 hr till 2010 , met new people .. 12am 2010
we all hang out the next three days then its time to go ..
but once i thought my 2010 would be the best year , i guess i was wrong

sometimes when you believe that the things you always wanted would come soon ... but when the time comes.. it never will, wasting your time one on thing the whole time is wasting half of your life. When the things you do for them are never appreciated , you feel like they turn their backs against you and will come back when they need you and leave you again. I come back home hearing all this crap from other people , then from the actually person. Never get your hopes to high becasue once it reach its highest you forget about everything you ever knew. Never think big , think from the small steps and build up.. when you build up , you might go through some problems but thats how life is.. life isn't like a fairytale you always dreamed of everything being perfect this is reality we face the fact that sometimes you wait for about at least a year , and still you dont get what you want .. but if you really want it you will never give up, because you came this far , why stop now you went through a lot of problems and stopping give failure, failure to yourself. Sitting here thinking about what will happen in 2010wanting to make it a good year unlike some other years. Because believe it or not we only have one time , one chance to live the way you want you life to be .. you can fail and never achevive , or you can believe in yourself and keep going and look back to what you accomplish. Just remeber the biggest things can take a life time , but who cares at least you believe you can do it , which is the best thing you can ever rememeber.

things arent always what you expect it to be,
awkwardness
scared
afraid
shy
but its all part of