I know that weve been through ups and downs and mostly downs put we always put them away and remember who we really are "best friends" but i feel like its all fading away .. that my bestfriend is fading away and i dont want that to happen.. I hate loosing a bestfriend espically you .. I cant loose another one .. i know im asking for to much but your the one who made me feel everything .. i felt happy when i was around you .. honestly , ever since you stopped calling i miss all your calls .. i dont know why .. but i just do i always have a voice inside of me telling me to call you but i always dont cause i dont wanna be a person bothering you and i dont wanna just call to say hi .. i wanna talk to you about things about life ,advice you use to give me that would lead me to a better path .. but i cant cause i dont know how to do that .. i dont know why this feels like this but it just does ..im trying my best to talk to you and try as hard to be bestfriends but i just cant .. you always go offline without saying goodbye .. we dont have our usual calls anymore .. the way we laughed because of stupid yo mama jokes .. ugs .. everything is comign back to me .. ALSO its summer and i remember that we planned to spend sometime in the summer togther but i dont think thats gunna happen theres never a good time to talk .. and right now its like stupid 5:03am .. and i cant even sleep .. i keep thinking about you .. i was gunna call you but i put it down because i didnt wanna bother you at this time your probably sleeping but yeah ..This is all fucked up how are we suppose to be friends if you dont even say hi when im right there waving at you? it that called friendship to you .. to me its called being not seen and even your bestfriend said hi to me and not even you , how are we suppose to be mother effin friends if you dont even do thins that friends do .. we cant jus pretend that everything is alright and just say hi when were on the phone and have like a effin 10second conversation and hanging up.. honestly what does friendship mean to you .. i really dont want to put up with your attitude.. i really miss mybestfriend

Dear Zantoza ,

It started out in septemeber when we didnt know anyone .. But when days past we got along and became very close friends and look what we are now .. through our ups and downs, eating our junk food at religon pe and French class And jacking off in the hallways.. The times when we took pictures in locker room, the partys at my house , your amazing cheering during games , texting .. you know what i mean and also becoming our bestfriends .. everything wont be the same without you .. we know that you will have a fun time in philippines but not as much fun you have here with us .. we hope that you will never change when you come back .. and that you will always remember us .. AS MADZ ... we hope that you will always keep contact with us and always update us on whats up and we will update you so you know whats going on .. oh yeah learn math really well so you can tutour us .. rememeber the times where we always said " today is only gunna be MADZ day " but we never really had it .. boys always came .. i will miss that ALOT .. so just to finish this we just wanted to say we will miss you always and that the Z will never be replaced and will always be kept by ZANTOZA .. we love you so much and we hope you have a safe trip .....

Love always ,
MAD

When i first thought it was crazy how we both met
Im so attracted
From the start i can never forget
You made me feel the pain and the ease
You gave what i needed
We were okay until it happend
Now i just cant just think about anything anymore
Im thinking all kinds of things
You got me going insane
Doing things i never use to do
Saying that im over jealous
We aint really talking no more
Im always screaming and yelling before i was calm and low

You call me crazy
What can i say
I think i made myself this way
Im going out of my head
Its funny how i always find out things
And you never realize what
That you couldn’t tell me right from the beginning
Now im sick of all of it
Im just lil over it
I don’t think you may know this so i wont say
I don’t want to leave
You got to hold me down
Up and down roller coaster
So confused im my emotions
Fuck you got me going crazy

Am I only there for an excuse ?
I dont deserve a friend who lies,
and doesnt even tell me what you even did.
You go ahead making excuses, without my permisson, wtf .
I'm fed up with your attitude!
You say that "shes controling your life"
FUCK THAT !
YOU control your own ..
She doesnt. I tell you that you control
it yourself.. & your the one who wants to do things,
when she says she doesnt want you there !.. Your letting
her control you. Well I helped and im gunna STOP,
cause that girl is my bestfriend, who doesnt USE ME..
everything that you do and say is ALL you ..
not someone else, JUST YOU .

So heres a tip ..

FIND YOUR WAY OUT CAUSE YOUR THE ONE MAKING YOUR DECISIONS.

i need you to answer me ..
am i only needed for just a buddy to talk to ?
a person just to help you when your alone ?
when i talk to you i think im there becuase
1) i want to be that friends who is ALWAYS there for her friend
2) Becuase i care about you ! , fuck you scared me today when you told me yeah yeah
3) YOUR ONE OF THE MOST PEOPLE I FUCKEN LOVE !

dont you ever realize that ?! ..
cause to me its like YOU EVER DONNNNTT ..
you need to realize that im not just a pretend friend
who is just there for you to talk to when your going home
so heres the truth .. i want to know am i one of your friends
or just a fake to keep you company?!

Got everything want
im just not letting on
i wanna give
my heart, my soul, my love to you

talk about me with you friends
but around me you pretend
its like you dont noticed
you know i love you and
i mean it from the bottom of my heart