i think im going to have to give up
i cant take it, its been too long
its been over 2 months .. and now its DEC1st
ever since the day we met .... or the day we talked
even if i dated other guys after you its because i
tried and tried to get over but nothing helped
i dump "him"because of you , and i know it may sound weird
but its true , id do anything for you
i dont want to wait another month so im giving up
i know it sounds stupid and crazy , but
its the truth i'm giving up on you
i cant stand the people who make fun of you and her
i cant stand the way i have to wait at night for you to go online , cause i cant sleep without a goodbye
i cant stand the way you talk to me
i cant stand the way you put me through so much pain that i like you again
i cant stand .... you
i liked you for so long and im giving up ..
if you find out , tell me and ill tell you the truth and how i feel
but i don't wanna loose our friendship .. cause i cant last a day without talking to you
i know i sound like so obsessed but im not , im not like one of thoses girls who creeps through your pages or looks at your name all day
im that kind of girl who waits to see where life takes me too
im that kind of girl who will help you get through no matter what even if its about a girl , cause i think about you before myself i cant think of myself ,cause i feel
to selfish
im that kind of girl who will help you from thick and thin cause thats how much i care about you
i wont leave your side even if you hate me or dont like me .. ill be your friend until the end.
im not being a creep im not being a mindfreak im not going crazy its just the way you are to me makes me feel so happy, and free ..
i know right now im too young to know who my love is
but to me , and from everybody who knows says that you are mine
but i cant believe that .. cause i dont know if its true
im going to have to wait until i graduate because i cant feel that way
until i actually feel or actually know what love means .. i cant say i love you
cause honestly i dont know if i do , i just want you beside me too

Thinking back when we got together

In our hearts we were saying forever
So in love, boy we were so in love
Jealousy wasn't what we wanted, we broke up
And when you looked into my eyes I should of spoke up
And held you near, then I wouldn't be alone
And here it comes again

Cause I remember every word that you said
It all just keeps spinning around in my head
But it don't matter what I try to do
I keep on forgetting to forget about you
And I don't want to think about you baby so much
All the things we did and the way that we touched
Just when I think about someone new
I keep on forgetting to forget about you
Forget about you, forget about
Watch me turn around and forget, forget about you
Forget about me and you

I would be crazy to say that we were perfect
And sometimes I was wondering if it was worth it
But now I see, how could you run from me?
And everytime I drive by your apartment
I get this overwhelming urge to walk in
And see your face and to be in that place all over again


The way we laughed, the way we kissed
I never though that I would miss
All the things I used to complain about you
The football games, the hometown friends
I'm just glad to see an end
But tell me why I feel so alone without you?
Here it comes again

=======================================

I have no idea what to do .. no matter how hard i try i think of you

I got the top part from a song cause thats how i feel about you ...

I have no idea why , but today after the party .. my cousins were telling

Me that you were dating one of my cousins .. but i was a joke

And they were all saying were joking ate alexa .. but i thought why are they

Saying that do they think i still like you .. because i do .. i cant live a day

Without even thinking why i like you .. weve been through so much that

I gave so much up just for you .. i think that in my head were meant to be but

In reality it wasn’t ? all i want to say is i need your help .. cause i cant find my way

today was the best day of my life
1.FOUND MY BOOOOTS<3333333333
2.shopping with the girls !
3.provincals/delta +night at a hotel with my volleyball team <3
4.BUFFET SUNDAY!!!
5.him

.... i just love today never want to forget it , thank you so much !
you have never made me this happy my whole entire life! ..except for one thing
but this whole entire year :)

i believe everything happens for a reason.
People change so we can learn how to let them go.
Things go wrong,so that we can appreciate them when
they're right. We believe lies, so we eventually learn
how to trust our own self, and sometimes good
things fall apart so better things can fall togther

HEELLO LADS ,
ahhaha , you guys seriously made my day ! .... failure exam to fun at dq , and at my house ..
HAHA , you guys are like srsly the besties girlfriends ever :) <3333333333333333333333
kim , it would of been more fun if you were at my house HAHA , were eating pickles :) .. actually you wouldnt like the pickle part but still .... HAHA , anyways dont you love the picture on top !? whos eyes are the biggest :P .. i just wanted to say something that i wrote for you guys :) .. i know im really deep and thoughful

thank you for bringing me back to life
i know ive been really down latley
because of all this boy drama shit ,
but you guys are my boyfriends ... AHAHHA
AHHA , i dont need a boyfriends .. even if you guys have "bfs"
AHAHA ..... anways im acting really gay right now

anyways laveess yaa lads ! :) <3333 forever

so you finally had to courage to talk to me ? ... well good for you
but you know it wont do anything , just to make that clear
cause im thru with you

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&


so these last days of the week , i have been waiting for !!!!

Wednesday : last exam !!!!!!! :)x2
Thursday: sleep in , practice :( ... but still love it
Friday&Saturday: DELTA DELTA :) <3333333333333

im keeping this into myself , and not telling you
cause obviously its going to hurt you but
if you know who you are ...
LEAVE ME ALONE , my life has nothing to do with you anymore
youve been gone for so long dont even try to come back
its been a long time since ive talken to you , you better thank "him"
for even texting me for eles i wouldnt even be talking to you
i know your probably like what her problem ?
well guess what my problem is you
think about it when was the last time i talked a real conversation with you !?
like what 5months ago ?! ... and now you want to talk , well fuck it
im over and done with it
PCE.

i wathed 2012 last night ...
it got me thinking , once its
12/31/12 time restarts too
00001, i thought of this because there
isnt any month that is 13 ... only 12
but screw whatever ..

it also got me thinking
i have to make my decisions now
its now or never , before my life ends
watching that a "perfect family" will always be there beside eachother
survives and one that "cheats" wont
i actually dont believe that were going to end our lives in 12/21/12
because i believe in god and if you do too , god wont let this happen to us
we deserve to live the life , with a perfect family , the ones you love the most
but if we dont .. make those decisions now .. cause when the time comes..
youll regret it

since the day that we met boy
i have never had anyone make me feel this way ( 8 )

i think i realized , that I'm starting to have more and
more feelings for you.. but I'm not really sure that
I'm doing the right thing ...
but im not sure , if im ready again ..
people say " please you guys are so cute "
"he deserves you " but do i deserve you ?
i think i do but at the same time im thinking second thought
i really like you , but im not sure if i want to be with you
ill tell you when im ready cause right now .. im not

you said you would be there for me
you said you will be there no matter what
you said you would be my side
you said you would never let me down
theres a lot more you said
but now theres no need for me to say them
cause your gone

no need to be a friend
cause im not going to waste my time waiting for you
i waited already , and guess what you still havent came back
so i guess ill wont wait anymore cause i know youll never come back

they ask me if i talk to you again
and i say no , never have ever since last month
they say not to becuase , your not much of needed in my life
ive been doing fine without you , and i bet your doing great without me too
were just both gunna go our seprate lives
and i know youll never be there by my side
cause honestly im tired of hurting .. so just leave me alone

im tired of looking
im waiting till that one comes to me
one day i will see if we were meant to be
but right now , im stopping
cause love is killing me

building up trust is one thing to do
lying and telling the truth is something we should do
i saw you today looking at me with your eyes
giving me a question of thinking why ?
what did i do ? .. to make this feel so wrong
is it just me or were not meant to be
i ask you my question and you give me an answer
but is that enough to take back my pride
i lost all i had , or all i ever wanted
but right i cant loose the fact that were gunna die
we just began so lets make this work
to be my last and your only first.

saturday : HAPPY HALLOWEEN , had our halloween party .. about 15-20 people came to my place .. a lot of kids came for candies , we had some crashers but it was alright with me , we had some fights .. but it turned out to be a good night when everyone left khyn rahim sarah and justine slept over .. we chat , talk about lives , and laugh , and eat candy and food , and talk about the shower order .. then sarah fell asleep then khyn passes out , then justine and me and rahim up .. then i decieded to go to sleep but eneded up not sleeping at all ... but it was alirght

sunday : we all get up we all took showers in the unaragnde order ... instead of justine first she was last instead of sarah last she was first then rahim then justine then khyn .. almost no hot water .. but there was .. had french toast sausage and other things .. then went to church at st.marys had pizza at joyce then headed for metro .. met up with sandro .. went to all you can eat .. and sandro was a horrible horrible at eating all you can eat you can never eat when hes making you laugh !!! our table was hella messy .. haha its was fun though LAVE YOU SANDRO<3 .. then we bussed home

monday : pretty good day at school , found 5$ on the ground , someone lend me socks, won our last home game 11-0 baby ! .. and hung out with my boys sandro and khyn ... they have boy problems they are weird :S ... but you gotta love them ...



overall , I LOVE THIS WEEKEND AND MONDAY :)